Posted by: addictmystory | March 20, 2012

Detoxing Continued – Methadone and other Opiates

3-20-12 (Tuesday). Getting hair done….So the good news is I am out of the house and I will look great at work also…My hair has had me really down, but I have not enjoyed spending 4 hours in the chair like I use to…I use to love getting all “dolled” up for the arrival of spring, summer, or to have a date night, or to go out with friends, or just because, but lately all the effort to do those things that are just “EXTRA” just seems at times too much.However, yesterday I did manage to walk the dog for a hard walk  for about 40 minutes. I also did yard work outside after work. I did this just to take my mind off the pain and the fire that is deep insde my body and my bones. My teeth even hurt. I literally feel like throwing up with every move – my head feels as if it is swimming in water. I am very thirsty but when I drink water or whatever I just want to throw-up!!! My feet literally feel all tingly and on fire. My back is in constant pain. I cannot sleep. I sweat so much that I need to change the sheets daily from all the sweet. My neck is in agony. My mood goes between I can deal with this…to just give me some pills now!!

With all the above said, I tossed and turned all night long. I am coping by staying busy. I am reading. I am writing, I am working on myself. I working. I am making a list of all things I am grateful for. I am taking things hour by hour and being grateful when I make it through those hours sober. I remind myself I have not been without drugs since 1993 – 19years. My body is mad at me – my brain is mad at me. I acknowledge that madness and ask it to forgive me.

This road will be a long one – for even as I sit in my hairdressers chair – he is asking me if I can that he has been up all night.

So far today – 7mg of methadone – down from 160mg of methadone. No other opiates. No benzo’s.


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