Posted by: addictmystory | March 22, 2012

3.21.12 -crave porn and sex by day and I have rage by night

Today has been a weird day. I could feel this anger brewing beneath the surface all day. I could feel it mixed with my pain and fury over my madness towards my need and every thought wanting pills and more pills. Thus far I only took about 10mg of Methadone and one 7.5mg opiate pill. However, I have hurt like hell today and my hands have burned today like my feet. I have also craved sex in every form. I have wanted the attention of another in the worst way. I have watched hours of porn. I have watched it every second I could squeeze it in…I have been masturbating to the point of cumming all over myself. It is not longer good enough to just place my hands in my panties. I now like to remove my pants and panties completely. I know this is because I am in an addict. I am replacing one bad habit with another. I have watched all kinds of new porn and fantasized about doing it and being a part of it…I really wish I knew if my husband is gay. More on that later….Oh well it is late and all this talk about porn has made me well…..horny for porn.

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Responses

  1. Know how you feel…it’s as if I haven’t had sex in years. I mean I have, I’m married too and never really had to go without. It’s just much more intense on lower doses of opiates. Good gosh, that’s some hot story though. Lol

    • I’m still looking at porn on a weekly basis….at least I slowed down…but honestly I am still just as addicted. I just am out of the house more with me new job and so the opportunity does not present its self as much now….this is most likely a good thing….However, I stare at strangers and wonder….

  2. Least they don’t know what you’re thinking. 🙂

    • Thank goodness – can you imagine – let’s see—–The story could read something like…..recovering addict trades in drugs for another equally danergous addiction…will our heroin ever get what she is truly after in life????? OR will she always be destined to chase another high literally…..


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