Posted by: addictmystory | May 5, 2012

5-5-12 – Won Over a President, a CEO, and Shareholders

As some of you may or may not know I have pretty much hated my job since day 1. Yes, it comes with a company AMEX, an uncapped expense account, 6 figures, and respect. BUT when I took this position 5 weeks ago I was still wrestling with my addiction as much as ever. The only difference is in my off time (and the time I long for), I am now helping others kick their habit(s), plus I am  kicking mine, and I do not spend my hours trying to get high!! Instead I spend it detoxing and counting the hours, minutes, and seconds down until whatever personal hell I am experiencing at the moment will end….

I also started my own company on the side in secret (secret from my current company and many others) that helps families or individuals deal with their addictions….Finally the Psychology degree and the thousands of volunteer hours is very useful – and this is my passion. It always has been. One major problem is this is not the business women at my other more corporate job – I am still known as the person that will loan you anything – do anything for you, but a far cry from this women: A cocaine bingeing, pill head, crack head, alcohol drinking to you black out and fall down business women. Or the mushroom eating – acid dropping business women…I think you get the idea….OR The 160 MG Methadone habit a day for almost 4 years now…Not that I have been at 160 mg that entire time b/c I have been dropping down my strength because I was ready almost 2 years ago….(1 year and 7 months ago – maybe a bit longer)….At this same time – I stopped 13 other prescription meds. But I still cannot completely kick the percacet 7.5mg. –

In any event almost 19 months plus later I am still on 5 mg of Methadone some days, or at 8 mg methadone some days, and other days as high as 10 mg – will it ever be over??? The pulsing in my body drives me nuts. Then the drives for other destructive behavior drives me nuts!!

However, my point is this – would I have been able to sell my new company on a new 10 million dollar idea if they would have known all the above about me????? I think not. I would guarantee – my qualifications to do my job would be in immediate danger and they would have never have taken my ideas seriously over this last week. Would they have done the press release about me joining their firm? I think not…It is a real shame that addicts still suffer in shame and in silence – Why is it people in power forget it is their moms, neighbors, teachers, brothers, sisters, friends, dads and everyone who still need help to combat addiction??? And the greatest thing we can give someone is love – power – knowledge – friendship – and support!!

 

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